Monday, November 5, 2012

When 406 is on the Map

I'm going to be very glad when Tuesday passes.

It's not necessarily the election ads, the gazillion signs, or even the flyers that have caused the post office to take out another box in my name.  Oh no.  It's the fact that Montana is on the political map.

You see, every day I've been receiving phone calls both to my house and my cell phone by random dialers that have the area code 406 programmed into them.  People from Detroit, Washington, Atlanta, and other places that have absolutely no clue what is important to me or any other Montanan.  Pollsters call constantly wanting to know what candidate I'm voting for in the tight senate race, or who I'm voting for in the presidential race.

None of their goddamn business, really.

The next person who calls me asking about my vote, I'm telling them I'm out hunting elk and they need to be really quiet.  Because hunting elk is more important than the races.  Either that, or I'm having Annie the Goat talk to them.  Only she'd probably chew on the phone and destroy it.  Wait, there's a thought.

I just read a news item that says about one third of Montanans have asked for mail-in ballots, and two thirds of those folks have already voted.  So, you see, the phone calls have a one in five chance of reaching someone who has already voted--and is probably out elk hunting.  That's huge that more than 200,000 people out of less than a million have voted.  One of those people is me.

So, the next time I get a phone call, I'll tell them I voted for the opposite candidate and for them to go away. Nobody from Montana is particularly impressed with outsiders.  We like it that we're really on nobody's radar. 

So, I'm really looking forward to Wednesday.  And back to having the rest of the country forget about us.

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