In my last Fencon report, I failed to mention the odd stuff, which included my sister's cat, Howard, who is affectionately known as Howard the Shelter Cat, and like Sid the Llama, seems to have his own fan club. Thursday night before Fencon, I was staying at my sister's house. I brushed my teeth and went to bed, leaving the bathroom door open.
In the morning, I found my paper cup was tossed on the floor, the mats were skidded against the bathtub, the toilet paper was now in a nice little pile by the toilet, and my toothbrush was gone. Now, I suspected that Howard had stole the toothbrush, probably concerned about dental hygiene (and who wouldn't be?). But I was concerned that he might have given it to my sister's dogs to chew.
Thankfully, my sister had provided an unopened toothbrush in the bathroom for just such emergencies as "A cat ran off with my toothbrush..." so I could continue to brush my teeth. My sister later found the toothbrush stashed in Howard's closet. I told my sister that he could keep it.
On the way home, I had to go through security, and sure enough, TSA was kind enough to pick me out for that machine that hits you with a bunch of radiation and undresses you. I told them I would opt out, because of the radiation.
Well, well, well. First they tried to tell me that the machine didn't use radiation (WTF?), but I was well aware of the terminology and said that I was "opting out." The screener was professional and even changed her gloves before frisking me -- she asked if I wanted it private, I said no. At the end, the woman tried to explain that the machine didn't show pictures of people naked.
I told her that wasn't my objection. I said I was familiar with the concentration of radiation that machine used. She asked me what radiation was.
No, I'm not kidding. She had no clue what radiation was. My explanation was dumbed-down, to say the least. She looked concerned when I told her that it could cause cancer.
Yep, these are the people who are handling airport security. Thought you'd want to know.